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Archive for 三月 10th, 2011

对自己负责

三月 10th, 2011

对自己负责。简单的五个字,却在我二十一岁的春节突然领悟到了其另一层的含义。

父母给我的未来、我未来的另一半定了许多外在要求。我想去做交换生,想去留学,可是爸妈怕我太晚了找不到好的对象。他们从小就拿周围的亲戚做各种正反例子,告诫我一定要找能力比自己强的,家庭条件好的,不能找哪些哪些的。说得我心中有些烦闷,说得我真不敢在感情上放开枷锁去找。我将我的裹足不前,我的焦虑与踌躇都归咎在他们的身上。

承认别人是错的比承认自己错了容易很多。但我忘了,最终做决定的是我而不是他们,他们的话只是意见、建议,只是他们的价值观,我的人生不是在做应用题,我的答案必须满足他们开出的条件。真正束缚我的其实是我自己,决定哪些条件我接受满足,哪些我认为他们的不合理,要按照自己的想法走,做这些选择的是我。我该对自己的决定负责,而不是将其结果的不如意加诸在其它人的身上。

这让我想起律政俏佳人里2,Elle Woods 在国会演讲时的那段话:

There’s this salon in Beverly Hills. It’s really fancy and beautiful.

It’s impossible to get an appointment. Unless you’re Julia Roberts or from 『Friends』…you can just forget it. But one day they called me.

They had an opening. So I was going to finally get the chance…to sit in one of those sacred beauty chairs. I was so excited. Then the colorist…gave me Brassy Brigitte instead of Harlow Honey. The shampoo girl washed my hair with spiral perm solution…instead of color-intensive moisturizing shampoo. Finally sylist…gave me a bob…with bangs. Suffice to say, it was just wrong. All wrong. For me, you know.

First I was angry. Then I realized my anger was completely misdirected. This wasn’t salon’ s fault. I had sat there and witnessed this injustice…and had let it happen. I didn’t get involved in the process. I forgot to use my voice. I forgot to believe in myself. But now I know better. I know that one honest voice can be louder than a crowd. I know that if we lose our voice…or if we let those who speak on our behalf…compromise our voice, then this country…this country is in for a really bad haircut. So speak up, America. Speak up! Speak up for the home of the brave. Speak up for the land of the free gift with purchase. Speak up, America. Speak up! And remember…you’re beautiful. Thank you.

卜凡
深圳大学
2011年3月10日

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